To LET GO 放手

[Future Center]

 

 

 

ICATrends December 2010

Chinese follows English)

中文翻譯在英文全文的下方 

Excerpts from Happiness Is a Focused Mind, By Jenifer Goodwin,

EXECUTIVE HEALTH November 11, 2010

If you want to be happy, try to stay focused

 

New research shows that when people's minds drifted from the task or activity at hand, they reported being less happy than when they were fully engaged in whatever they were doing.

 

The human mind is uniquely capable of wandering -- that is, to ponder things that have happened, to anticipate things that will happen, and to plan for things that might happen, explained
study author Matthew Killingsworth, a doctoral candidate in psychology at
Harvard University.  The ability is one of the traits that makes human
beings human.

 

Yet, cognitive wandering comes at a cost, which is that when people are thinking about something other than what they're doing, they feel less happy.

 

"Human beings seem to have this unique capacity to focus on the non-present. They have the ability to reflect on the past, plan for the future and imagine things that might never
occur," Killingsworth said. "But at the same time, human beings are
clumsy users of this capacity and it tends to decrease, rather than increase,
happiness."

 

In the study, 2,250 participants were prompted at random times throughout the day using an iPhone Web application.  They were asked how they were feeling, what they were doing,
if they were thinking about something other than what they were doing and
whether whatever they were contemplating was pleasant, unpleasant or neutral in
nature.

 

According to the study, participants spent nearly 47 percent of their waking hours with their mind in a wandering state.  "This study shows that our mental lives are
pervaded, to a remarkable degree, by the non-present," Killingsworth
said. 

 

In some ways, the research provides scientific evidence of what many self-help books and some religious traditions espouse, which is that being in the "here and now" is
critical for happiness,

 

Participants were from 83 counties, a wide range of occupations and ranged in age from 18 to 88.

 

Barbara Becker Holstein, a psychologist, said the findings speak to the importance of doing things that provide a sense of purpose and meaning.  Such activities make it easier to
stay focused. …long before the research,
psychologists and many educators recognized that in order to feel a sense of
well-being, you need to feel you have purpose and meaning in life.  That
means you are containing the mind around certain projects and activities, and
are forcing the mind not to be all over the place all day long."

 

If you feel your mind starting to head down a "dark tunnel" of worry and anxiety, try to snap yourself out of it by bringing your thoughts back to the present, she said. 
"It's such a natural tendency to go over bad news or things that haven't
worked out, to dramatize the drama we are already experiencing," she said.
 "But (when) we can distract ourselves by getting involved doing
something, we get some distance from whatever we were ruminating on and it's
better for us."

 

If you'd like to be part of Harvard's happiness research project, visit trackyourhappiness.org 

 

 

摘錄自 Jenifer Goodwin之快樂是一顆專注的心  

EXECUTIVE HEALTH November 11, 2010

如果你想要快樂，試著保持專注!

 

新的研究顯示當人們的心思從他們手上的任務或活動飄走時，他們比全心投入手中工作時要來得不快樂。 

 

本研究作者哈佛大學心理學博士生Matthew Killingsworth解釋：人類的心思特別有能力「漫遊」，也就是說能深思過去、預測未來、計畫些可能會發生的事。這項能力也是人類之所以為人的特質之一。 

 

然而，心思漫遊是有代價的，就是當人們心思跑到他們正在做的事情之外時，快樂感將會降低。 

 

Matthew Killingsworth說：「人類似乎特別有能力將注意力放在”非”當下。他們有能力反思過去、計畫未來和想像出可能沒有機會發生的事情。」「不過，在此同時，人類似乎也是這項特質的笨拙使用者，且它傾向降低快樂，而非提昇快樂。」 

 

研究中，2,250參與者在一天當中的不特定時間被提醒要使用iPhone的網頁應用軟體。並詢問他們當下的感受、當時在做甚麼、當時是否在想其他事情，他們正在思索的事情是愉快的、不愉快的或是不好不壞的。 

 

研究顯示，參與者在清醒時間內近47%心思都花在「漫遊」的狀態。Matthew Killingsworth說：「本研究顯示我們的心思被大量的”非當下”時刻所佔據了」。 

 

就某方面而言，本研究為許多自我提昇書籍與一些宗教所倡導的「活在當下是快樂的泉源」提供了科學根據。本研究的參與者來自83個不同國家，從事各行各業，年齡層分布由18到88歲。

 

心理學家巴巴拉•霍爾斯坦恩博士說，這個發現提醒了做事情需要目的感與意義感的重要性。這一類的活動讓人們更容易專注在其中…在本研究之前，心理學家與許多教育家早就發現要有幸福感，必須要先覺得你的人生有些目的與意義。也就是說，你將心思用在特定的事件或活動上，並強迫你的心思不會成天花在「漫遊」。

 

她還說，如果你覺得你的心思開始掉進擔憂與不安的「黑洞」，試著讓自己的思緒回到「當下」把自己帶離黑洞。「我們很自然會停留在壞消息或行不通的事情上，讓我們正在經歷的過程更加戲劇化。但是，我們可以藉著投入某些事情讓我們從一直在反芻的事件上轉移，這樣對我們也比較好。」

 

如果你想參與哈佛快樂研究專案，歡迎來trackyourhappiness.org

 

 

 

 

To LET GO  放手

(from the graduation session of the Satir Growing Through Loss Program)

 

To LET GO is to fear less and love more.  放手是少一點恐懼，多一點愛

 

To LET GO doesn't mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone
else.  放手不是不在乎了，而是承認我不能代替別人完成他的工作

 

To LET GO is not to cut myself off. It's the realization that I don't control
another. 放手不是自我隔離，而是領悟到我無法控制別人

 

To LET GO is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. 放手不是讓別人變強，而允許他從經驗學習

 

To LET GO is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.  放手是承認無力，意謂著結果不是我能一手掌握的

 

To LET GO is not to try to change or blame another. I can only change myself.  放手是不改變或責備對方，因為我只能改變自己

 

To LET GO is not to care for, but to care about. 放手不是照顧，而是關心

 

To LET GO is not to fix, but to be supportive. 不去糾正，而去提供支持

 

To LET GO is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. 放手，不評斷別人，而允許他成為一個「人」

 

To LET GO is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own outcomes. 放手，放棄居中掌控所有結果，而允許對方決定自己所要的結果

 

To LET GO is not to be protective; it is to permit another to face reality. 放手是不試著保護對方，而讓他去面對現實

 

To LET GO is not to deny but to accept. 放手是不否認，而去接受

 

To LET GO is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them. 放手是不嘮叨、責罵、辯承，而去發現自己的缺點並改進之

 

To LET GO is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment. 放手，不期待事物皆須依我的期待而行，而去接受每天自然發生的事，珍惜眼前的每一刻 

 

To LET GO is not to criticize and regulate anyone but to try to become what I dream I can be. 放手是不批判或規定別人應如何，而試著成為自己夢想成為的人。

 

To LET GO is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future.  放手是不追悔過去，而向著未來成長與生活著

                          

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We extend our best wishes to all of you for a

challenging, peace-filled and fully human 2011!